Just time for some self-reflection. I feel i've improveed as a person. yet in some ways, i think i've gotten worse. but overall, i do love myself more these days. maybe becasue in the past i didn't even thnk about it, how to love? or maybe now i can just find more ways to give excuses and prasie to myself to love.
that's one way i've changed. i've never been able to say, no matter how jokingly, that i'm great, beautiful, FABULOUS. but that all changed i think in Sec 4. (i think it's after the valentine thing, too) but now i can. even though in a joking tone, but i belive myself sometimes. i am able to say that. i am able to feel comfortable in my own skin but i don't deny that i still want to have another nobody sometimes. be another person. ok, maybe not. i don't want to be another person. i want to be me. but a more beautiful me. and that is because i don't see the crime in that anymore. i don't see what's wrong in wanting to be more beautiful. who doesn't? but i want to be me. bottom line.
and one thing that got me into that is that i don't really care that much what people think anymore. sometimes, it's cos i dont't care, but even that takes persuasion of my own mind not to care, and i admire that in myself and am trying to do better. most of the time, its ignorance. i realise that if i don't think about it, it's never that bad.
But the ignorance and 'i-can't-be-bothered-ness' has gotten in the way of many other things too. that's one place i've gone wrong. i ignore what people think and feel sometimes. because i want to do things my way. no, not 'i-hate-you-so-i-do-it-this-way' kind of thing. but i see the obvious reason behind my way and am able to explain the sense and logic behind it -- i belive it the right (or different, unique)way, so i do it. but sometimes, others just don't like it. and i think "well, i can't please everyone"
ok, i would love to say more. but i'm hungry and i have to go fetch my younger sis to go my aunt's house where my cousin is in confinement. BABY BOY!!! yeah. cute. ugly, but cute. and i belive he'll grow cuter. and prettier.
quote: "Pray come -- you must come --I declare you shall come --" < Sir John, Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen>
But the ignorance and 'i-can't-be-bothered-ness' has gotten in the way of many other things too. that's one place i've gone wrong. i ignore what people think and feel sometimes. because i want to do things my way. no, not 'i-hate-you-so-i-do-it-this-way' kind of thing. but i see the obvious reason behind my way and am able to explain the sense and logic behind it -- i belive it the right (or different, unique)way, so i do it. but sometimes, others just don't like it. and i think "well, i can't please everyone"
ok, i would love to say more. but i'm hungry and i have to go fetch my younger sis to go my aunt's house where my cousin is in confinement. BABY BOY!!! yeah. cute. ugly, but cute. and i belive he'll grow cuter. and prettier.
quote: "Pray come -- you must come --I declare you shall come --" < Sir John, Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen>